3-18-2009

This is the first dream I've ever had where I have woken up crying.
And had an enormous sense of relief that this was not actually my reality.

Dream:

I was visiting at my parents house and my father was simply too overwhelmed to go to the grocery store, so I patronizingly told him I would go and return in an hour or so.
It was nighttime. I was supposed to go to Cub Foods (which actually no longer exists).
I was driving my truck and Ted (my dog) was along with me for the ride.

When I arrived at Cub Foods it was no longer a grocery store but a Russian fried chicken place (do those actually exist?) I remember looking at the mashed potatoes and thinking "hmmm, mashed potatoes", like Homer Simpson but I exited quickly to find another grocery.

Once out in the parking lot, there was a large group of Russian men who were lighting explosives, saying something in Russian, and then throwing them up in the air (and at parked cars). I smiled nervously at them so as not to piss them off. I passed a Jeep Wrangler that was on fire and Ted was sitting in the backseat. I called to Ted and patted my leg and he hopped out the burning Jeep and I grabbed him by his collar and led him towards where I had parked the truck.

When I got to the truck it had (magically) turned into my station wagon, and the driver's window had been busted out (I presume by the rowdy Russian guys). I felt a wave of panic and just wanted to get out of there, so I brushed the glass off the seat and told Ted to hop into the car. When I started driving, I couldn't find my way out of the parking lot and ended up off-roading aimlessly through the surrounding culverts, landscaping, and retaining ponds.

At this point in the dream I was frantic. My truck had disappeared, my station wagon was trashed (I remember thinking that insurance wouldn't cover this), AND -new information enters here- I've remembered that I've got brain cancer and I'm pregnant. I remember thinking, "I didn't tell the cancer doctor that I was pregnant! Now the chemo is going to kill the baby, or if I don't take the chemo I'll die, and this is all too much for my darling husband to handle!!!" Frantic.

Then I wake and realize that this is actually NOT happening and I'm snuggled up in bed with husband and Frida. And I start to cry and husband wakes and comforts me until I pretend to fall back asleep, but actually don't because too traumatized that dream will pick back up where we left off.